Alex and I watched Fast 5 at AMC today and I must say, it was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Actually, I really liked it. After the movie we did a little research on the plot because we couldn’t agree on something and we found out that they’re already filming another one! I’m pretty excited to see what else they come up with.
They are filming another one of course. Im guessing you didnt stay for the credits! Secret Scene! :X
in being rejected to LB. I didn’t make it out of the final competitive round. Well I have one more chance and that is with my appeal. It’s all because of my failed class last semester. UGH. One more chance. Dont screw up ALLEN. Its your ticket out of here.
Some rude customer asked me with such an attitude why I had a tattoo and how it would affect me and how I would look if I were 80 years old. My response, “I love my tattoos and they mean a lot to me, and if I were to be 80 years old I wouldn’t care,” I also said “stop worrying about other people’s appearance.”
Anyways, I say it to the fullest, You worry about your own self. Quit criticizing. Not my fault we see things differently.
I am honestly fed up with having to put in so much work in this relationship. I snapped finally and I don’t even regret it. I have to put myself first sometimes, and this time I am. I honestly don’t give a fuck what will happen. I am tired of doing all the work.
I told myself to be stress free but it's led to sadness.
It has been a good 5 months living without my mom and just as time went by my stress levels have sky rocketed because I have had to worry about so many things. Being independent is one hell of a challenge I must admit and me stressing over things needed to get done has led me to become really sad. I know I don’t particularly show how sad I am but I really do feel bad this time. I have been so caught up with trying to get out of southwestern and trying to take care of myself by having a job and not relying on people that it has finally caught up to me. I can’t take anymore stress because ALL I DO IS GET SICK from it. I literally worry to much and I am becoming sad about it. I can’t even fulfill my own expectations for myself. It’s disappointing to know that it will take me 4 years to get out of community college and it is damn right frustrating. I just dropped my Physiological Psychology class that was a requirement for my transfer to CSULB. I feel as though I am at a really low point in my life right now and it’s upsetting. A bit of stress has been lifted off my shoulders but I just feel so down right sad about myself.
I just need to really slow my roll and take my time in school. I know a good amount of smart people that have dropped out of college and reapplied to community taking their time. Why can’t I just take my time? I need to just enjoy my life right now. I need to not be sad.
Taking advice is always good in my opinion. I honestly don’t understand why people do not admit faults and work around things to better themselves. Like I had blogged about before I want to better myself in any and every way possible. I’ve had my few ups and downs but I continue to work at it because I want to better myself for as long as I live. So with that said I realized a fault with one of my other goals which was to “GET BIG.” I lost motivation, I lost my workout partner, and I definitely lacked proper dieting. I have to admit that a lot of these came with me not having a car but I didn’t label that as a valid excuse for why I am not reaching my goals. I asked for help from a classmate I had met at Southwestern College in my Chemistry Class. He is a power lifter and I definitely gathered up the courage to ask him for help on my dieting and everything. And let me tell you, he helped me figure everything I needed.
1. I need to find out what I want to accomplish and he gave me the choices of being ripped, getting big, or getting stronger. My answer was to get big and that was because I knew my strength had already gotten stronger.
2. I needed to eat more. I blogged about my whole screw up with my dieting and that my caloric intake was incredibly low. So he told me that I needed to eat ALOT & with saying ALOT it really means ALOT. I have to eat about 3000 calories a day while having 200g of protein as well, which is pretty crazy in all honesty. If I didn’t gain a pound a week I would have to add another 300 calories to the 3000 & if that didn’t work add another 300 calories on top of that the next week. Really Crazy! He told me to just eat everything and to not worry about some of the fat that I am going to gain, because “it is always easier to lose fat to gain muscle than to build lean muscle from being skinny.” I believe that 100%. So with that I am aiming to get to 165-170lbs by mid July the prime time of summer. But what is cool is that I need to aim for that 3k calories for my training days and on my rest/off days I can hover around 2k-3k. I definitely will try to get 3k everyday though if possible.
A list of foods I am going to be getting huge amounts of:
Eggs, milk, oreos, hot pockets, ground beef, peanut butter, chicken bakes, vienna sausage, olive oil, and greek yogurt.
I chose these foods because I know I can keep eating them day to day. The goal is to increase caloric intake while being somewhat healthy. Very important because I want to GAIN not maintain or LOSE.
3. Treat this lifestyle as a full time job. Consistency is key when it comes down to everything. I definitely don’t want to disappoint myself once again by taking a break with my workout. My cousin promised me that I would get big within the three months we worked out and he eventually stopped hitting me up to work out, therefore I need to promise my own self to stay consistent and not to rely on another person for my own personal goals. I have personally always believed that if you can’t keep a promise to yourself, don’t promise anyone anything because you won’t be able to hold that promise.
I start this all on Monday because I work tomorrow a full 8hour and 30 minute shift and there is no way I can eat 3000 calories on a day like that because the day is just so busy and I don’t think I can eat so much food while working a crazy day and feel okay. So if you did take the time to read this I thank you. Just help me by supporting me or even reminding me to eat whenever possible! It’s going to be tough. But I do not want to disappoint. Especially when the person I asked for help from texts you “make sure you commit to gettin big…don’t let me down”
So the moral of all this was don’t ever be scared to ask for help. You really don’t know the outcome if you never try right?